Still searching for that perfect holiday gift for your special someone? Stop searching. The Wax Vac is here just for you. This commercial/infomercial for the latest miraculous, yet totally unnecessary product is one of the best we've encountered at Awful Ads. Just watch the acting that takes place when this grown man jabs a cotton swab too far down into his ear in trying to clean it.
Bless you Wax Vac for finally ending the national nightmare of those dangerous cotton swabs! Those testimonies are just so convincing! Especially the contractually obligated doctor's warning. I'm just wondering if he's being held hostage offstage or if there's a sack of money offstage waiting for him.
Listen, the Wax Vac may be gentle and safe and all that jazz... but I've used a cotton swab every day of my life since I was in grade school and not once did I jam it far enough into my ear to produce an audible screech of pain. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned that way...
@slothhard its called Ear candling — a technique that involves placing a lit, hollow, cone-shaped candle into the ear canal the heat from the flame will create suction that draws the earwax into the hollow candle.
@caca12 @slothhard In cases of extreme buildup, simply introduce a length of candle-wick directly into the earwax and light it. This technique allows you to perform an important grooming activity, while at the same time providing a warm glow that's perfect for reading, romance, or roasting. ("Act now and we'll throw in a second wick absolutely free!" ...which is probably all you will ever want or need.)